Race, Racism and Antiracism

As a Black woman currently working in a land trust and previously in other predominantly white organizations, I’ve always had to adjust my behavior and err on the side of making others feel comfortable. Whenever white colleagues ask me, “Can’t you make/say it a little easier,” it says to me that I’m making them feel uncomfortable. So, I need to make/say things “easier” so they won’t feel as uncomfortable but it doesn’t make them feel bad when they make me feel uncomfortable.

My peers’ and colleagues’ discomfort often comes out in the form of making it seem as if I am invisible. When I joined the land trust, I joined a program team that was diverse in an office that was not except for my team. Every morning, I would come into the office and speak to everyone as I came in. One white male colleague totally ignored me every day and acted as if he didn’t hear me speak. I’d be in the kitchen and he would walk in and not say anything until I said, “Hey how you doing?” It was like he didn’t see me there.

At an organization-wide event, I had been standing at the bar, waiting my turn to get a Coca Cola. Another white female colleague just walked right up in front of me, and the bartender immediately served her. Another white female colleague from my office was there and saw it, but didn’t say anything. When I asked the person who got in front of me if they didn’t see me standing there, they didn’t say anything.

At another organization-wide event a white female supervisor was lost looking for the room we were going to meet in. I stopped and told her which direction to go. She kept walking and totally ignored me. She walked down the hall to a white hotel staff member and asked them what room we were in. The white hotel staff member proceeded to give her the same directions I’d just told her.

I’ve been working a long time and know how to do my job but have had some employers who always micromanaged me. If I can’t do it, I’ll tell you and will be honest with you about whatever the outcome is. I would see white colleagues, who had proven they needed closer supervision, but the supervisors never micromanaged them. Hold everyone to the same standards.

In a previous job, there weren’t a lot of Black people in management positions there. When I decided to leave, my supervisor said, “But you’ve been here 18 years.” I didn’t see myself going anywhere. I’ve seen Black people make mistakes and they get fired immediately, but nothing happens when white colleagues make mistakes.

When I was going natural, people came up to me and said, “Oooh you changed your hair.” I have people ask, “Can I touch it?” Why? Don’t ask if you can touch my hair, don’t do it. A Black colleague shared with me that another white colleague asked her, “Why do you always bring everything back to race?” She told her that we deal with it all day, every day, in almost every situation, even going to the store you deal with it.

My advice to land trust peers: First, you have to be intentional and make diversity something you look at from a personal perspective—how can I be a better human? Change is not going to happen—it’ll stay that way if you don’t change as an individual. You need to be more intentional about seeking out people of color to work in certain areas and to do certain jobs. Have you ever even interviewed any people of color?

Realize that we’re just like you, we feel, and we react to things just like you do but interactions are usually geared toward your comfort vs how it makes us feel.

Look at people based on their capability. When you see me don’t put more emphasis on my skin color than you do my education, my character or my experience. When we are educated and smart, white people always seem to say, “Oh they’re so articulate.” Why wouldn’t we be? Don’t let there be a difference, where you’re going to treat me one way and you’re going to treat white people another way.

Be more intentional, realize it only takes one person to make a difference; it has to be an individual decision that you want to change, and you want to be different and you want to treat people equally and give people equal opportunity and equal resources.

My daddy always told me: Be careful what you believe because it don’t just affect you.

Know that all companies and organizations are made up of people and your actions affect others. Think about what you believe in. Do you believe in diversity, equity, inclusion and justice? If you do, then don’t just talk about it, do it.