Topic

Interpersonal skills

Understanding how our implicit biases (attitudes or stereotypes that affect our understanding, actions and decisions in an unconscious manner) influence our behavior; cultural competency; awareness of microaggressions; and practicing active listening.

Story

Building meaningful relationships of trust

This is a true story from a professional in the conservation field.

In my day-to-day work with low-income communities and communities of color (in a land trust), I learned to build relationships of trust and became close friends with many community partners. In order to help communities address the root causes of environmental degradation (poverty, racism, classism, disenfranchised communities), I had to better understand—to the extent that an outsider could—the various dynamics in the community: race, class, power, privilege, historical contexts, even who the high school football rivals were. I learned to listen first and then to deal with my own discomfort so I could talk openly and honestly about race, class, power, privilege and the many other challenges community members face in their daily lives.

My colleagues in conservation had very different levels of comfort in having conversations about race, class, power and privilege.

Many of my colleagues in conservation, though, worked with homogeneous stakeholders—primarily white, affluent individuals with significant power—and had very different levels of comfort in having similar conversations internally, either one-on-one or in small groups. Some professed great book knowledge but were highly uncomfortable saying or hearing someone say “race” or “white supremacy.” Some really wanted to talk about DEI, racial equity and the organizational culture, others felt defensive quickly and thought they were being personally attacked if someone said “sexist” or “racist.” Others asked what DEI has to do with the environment or with conservation or the organization’s mission and felt that it was mission drift.

Some colleagues and friends in peer organizations wanted to hear about the business case for diversity. Others were interested in DEI as “the right thing to do” and still others wanted to talk about what it might look like in our organization and what we could do to “get there.” Some felt that it would take too long, others that they wouldn’t be able to do their jobs as well. Some saw it as a “zero sum” game: If more diverse colleagues were hired, they might lose something (position, standing, power, etc.).

Realizing that we don’t know what we don’t know, and that many colleagues had never had meaningful interactions with people who were different from them, I started by sharing stories that helped provide connections or shared interests between my colleagues and community partners. I shared observations gleaned from community partners, many of whom had grown up or were still living in poverty and had deep personal connections to land, stewardship and the environment. I shared lessons I learned by trying different strategies, such as hiring people who looked like the community members we were working with, and then how I learned to manage a diverse team.

I created opportunities to introduce colleagues to people in the communities who care deeply about the rich natural resources that surrounded them but were also struggling to put food on the table or keep their children and themselves safe in increasingly racially divided communities—people who were, but would never think to call themselves, environmentalists. I shared my beliefs that a diverse team is most productive, and how I learned to adapt my style to enable all team members to shine, whether they had a different personality or a different work style or a different ethnic background, gender, race or favorite sports team.

I can’t really claim “results” as if I did something and now everything has changed for the better. I have seen many shifts—some subtle, some significant—in some peers’, colleagues’ and friends’ willingness and openness to have a conversation and growth in comfort levels in those conversations. Some started by reading books, especially books or articles about the systemic and structural barriers that have gotten our country and organizations to where we are today. Some are asking questions and having more conversations, while others are working intentionally on their own personal journey and integrating DEI concepts into parts of their work that they can impact, such as hiring (and paying) interns from the community or from different backgrounds. Some have turned away from it completely, saying it wasn’t in their job description.

I didn’t have any answers either, but learned that it might mean starting small, such as putting on your website pictures of people of color who are enjoying or working in the landscapes that your organization has protected. In general, if people see people who they know or who look like them or who they can relate to, they are more likely to want to know more about your organization.

It might mean spending time in the communities where your organization works, listening to what community members care about.

It might mean spending time in the communities where your organization works, listening to what community members care about, or offering special programs for children, youths and teens. It might mean seeking out the shared interests and connections, the differences and the opportunities to leverage the access your organization might have to funding, knowledge, resources, power that could help the community and protect the landscape. It might mean having internal conversations about your organization’s culture, and the gender and power dynamics that make it a comfortable workplace for some but a toxic environment for others.

I have also learned that how you have conversations makes a difference. In the last two years, for example, many people of color have been asked by white friends and colleagues to share information about their lives, explain what it’s like to be a person of color and more. This type of conversation can feel very extractive and exhausting at a time when Black mothers, for example, are constantly on edge about things most of us take for granted, such as whether their sons, husbands, fathers, grandfathers will come home alive. While the intent might be to learn about others’ lived experiences, the impact can be a mentally and emotionally draining conversation.

Resources for change

Build your skills

These essential resources will strengthen your ability to have authentic and meaningful interactions with people who are different from you.

Next steps

Questions for further reflection

  • Do you feel that you’ve had authentic and meaningful interactions with people who are different from you? If not, why?

  • Have you taken any actions within the last six months to actively seek out and engage with people and groups in your community that have been systemically excluded? If no, why not? If yes, how did the experience make you feel?

Action

Pick at least two interpersonal skills that you want to improve or enhance and explore those areas.

Examples of interpersonal skills:

  • Written and oral communication skills

  • Listening skills

  • Teamwork

  • Creativity and resourcefulness

  • Self-motivation

  • Flexibility

  • Humility

  • Positive attitude

  • Patience

  • Empathy


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